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LOOKING BACK
By Admin | August 6, 2009
I used to think…”What will my future be? What will I become in the future? Will I be able to fulfill my dreams?”… At a young age, I started sewing my future…trying to make it perfect and previewing it through my imaginations. Life seemed to be so easy then. I never have to worry about anything except for my assignments and the clothes that I will wear on Sundays to make my crush notice me… hehehe!
High school life came and things changed a bit. Some old friends stay while others don’t. On the other side, I also met new friends, some of which I often see around but never even mind them. New environment, new adjustments. Kinda hard at first but I managed to adopt with the whole new chapter of my life. Somme plans were changed, too, as I grew more mature (or as I was only thinking…) making it more practical and achievable. I learned to control my temper and be more patient but realized it was not enough. I set realistic goals and adopt those only within my reach for the mean time, and never giving up my hopes of being who I want to be.
I was one of the lucky few who were able to continue my tertiary education. Lucky as I am, still I felt unlucky for I wasn’t given the chance to choose the degree that I wanted to take and the university that I wanted to be in. It was only then that I realized that I’m lucky enough to be sent to a university which is popular for producing competent professionals in their specialized degrees when one of our professors explained to us that according to the law, our parents are obliged to send us to school only until secondary education and beyond that, it is already our (the children) responsibility to send ourselves to school. Quite unusual to the Filipinos since because of our culture – the way we value our family relationships, strong family ties – sending the children to school until the tertiary level is still part of their responsibilities and obligations as parents. Thus, she told us that we are lucky if we were supported by our families in our tertiary education and that we should be grateful about it and never complain about the degree or university that they were able to send us to (perteng igoa jud naku!!).
It was also during my college life that I realized how hard it is to be alone, I mean, yeah some of my old friends/classmates were also in the same boarding house that I was staying, my family and I do have a stable communication, in fact they kept on checking on me from time to time and that I was also able to make new friends. But there’s still this feeling of emptiness and longing. Or maybe I was just homesick and was still adjusting since it was the first time that I was separated to my family for a very long time. Days, months and years had passed and I learned to adjust with my whole new environment, learned to adapt to city life but never taking y studies for granted and reminding myself from time to time that the money that I am spending is hard earned. Even with the financial, emotional and moral support that my parents are showing, I have had my own share of difficulties as a student – sleepless nights, not enough allowance due to increasing number of projects, assignments and researches to be done and many others. Good thing my room mates never abandoned me as well as my family. For four years of studying in college, with every single moment of failure, hopelessness, sadness, anger, joy, and success, at long last the most awaited event finally arrived – my graduation day! I was lucky and blessed to be one of the university’s graduates for the school year 2007 – 2008. I thought I’m done with the responsibility as a daughter, but as what they usually say; graduation is an end and a beginning. It is the end of my being a student and a whole new beginning of a new individual fresh from school and is now being exposed to the real world. Having finished my degree, I enrolled to a review center for the upcoming board exams for me to get my license and practice my profession. The scheduled date for the board exam came and passed with just a blink of an eye. I was waiting for the day that the result will be released, it was like a torture. I was excited and at the same time afraid. In between these times, another question popped into my mind. “Will I be able to pass the board exam? And if I do pass, what will be my next step? If I’ll look for a job, will someone or a company hire me? Will they believe in my capabilities? What if I didn’t pass the board exam, what will happen to me? Will I be one of those millions of jobless Filipinos?” Too many questions in my mind and yet, I know that it is only I who can answer all these and that even if I don’t know what lies ahead of me, God has beautiful plans for my life.
Right now, those questions that I used to ask were already answered one at a time. At the age of 21, I’ve started to fulfill my dreams and my plans. In just a short span of time, I’ve achieved one of my goals – that is, to go back and render service to my alma mater in my own chosen field, teaching. It may just be a simple dream and goal, but that is where every great success begins, right? One can never be great if he or she hasn’t started from the bottom. And that’s what I’m doing right now. Never mind the trials, temptations and mistakes; what’s important is that you know who you are, inside – out, what you want with your life and who you want to become, how you stand and face everything after you fall and the most important among all these, never loose faith, instead anchor it as deep as you can.
I exactly don’t know why I’m sharing all these; maybe, I just wanna update you all about what my life had become…Waheheh… Kidding aside, maybe I’m hoping to inspire someone who could have read this, or it could be that I wanted to inform my batch mates (specially those who are still studying) that life after graduation can be very challenging and difficult but our success and failure depends on how much effort we exert and how deep our faith is. It’s up to the readers on how they will interpret this article of mine, it could gain both positive and negative feedbacks, if that are so, then I’ll be glad to hear those. You may reach me through this site. Thank you for the time you spent in reading this article and hopefully, you gained something from that you could apply to your own life.
TO ALL MY BATCH MATES – UNSHS BATCH 2004 – I HOPE AND PRAY THAT YOU ARE HAPPY WITH THE KINDS OF LIVES THAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN. GOD SPEED!!!
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